Here’s a little rundown of what we’ve been doing in the past month.
There’s nothing like watching a dozen incredible skiers (some of whom are younger than you) shred down some of the steepest slopes on Earth to make you feel inadequate! For some reason, we do this every year. This year’s movie screening saw the TGR team go to various places around the world, build their own camps on the mountains, and hike 12 hours to the top of a peak only to ski back down in less than 5 minutes. The raffle was clearly rigged because I didn’t win anything AGAIN, but I’ll let it slide because second-year girlboarder Kelsey Galantich gave me the ski straps she won. Afterwards, we had an awesome party, where we celebrated the fact that we could never ever ever in a million years do the stuff those guys in the movie did.
Homecomings – which sorority loves it THE MOST?
The TV schedulers made a perfectly fair judgment to set a football game between two mediocre ACC schools at 12:30pm, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t annoyed that I had to get up at 8am on a Saturday to tailgate. The weather was beautiful though, and it was really fun to see the former VASST greats again and laugh at their real-world jobs (but be jealous of their real-world salaries). We watched Frankie almost die several times on the halfpipe & Paul fly around on his rollerblades like he was born in them.
The game was, uh, pretty standard for UVA these days so that was really a minor part of the weekend. Later on we congregated back at 320 to hang out and watch the guys skateboard. A bunch of us went through Brown College’s Haunted House - it’s really not that scary if you look down at the ground the whole time!
VASST’s Halloween Progressive is always one of the highlights of the year, and this weekend was no exception. At least 100 skiers & boarders went through 3 houses in 3 hours, sampling the drinks and generally laughing at each other’s costumes. My personal favorite was Old Gregg, but I have to give a shoutout to President Paul, whose ‘Saucer Boy‘ costume was that perfect Halloween combination of funny, slutty, and downright impressive.
It’s time for our new segment: Keeping up with Social Chair Alex Botlo! When she’s not unclogging toilets or complaining about not being mentioned in blog posts, she likes to go out to dinner with friends & work on papers in Clemons Library. Today Alex ate a banana for breakfast and looked nice for her penultimate day at her internship with an unnamed gubernatorial candidate. She hopes everyone on VASST gets out and votes tomorrow! Alex says, ’I like voting because it means I’m allowed to complain when things don’t go my way’. Stay tuned for the next installment!
With the semester over halfway done and people starting to realize they actually need to study if they’re going to pass that class that’s required for their major, you might think that VASST isn’t going to be doing fun things anymore. You would be wrong! Some events we still have coming up: ski swap at Freestyle, captain party, hot tub night, bowling, and a Christmas party. We will always be there if you need a quick 5-hour study break. Good luck with tests and any romantic interests you may be pursuing now that it’s getting colder and you need that cuddle buddy to keep you warm. Just remember that the Lawn doesn’t exist in the fall unless you Instagram it!
I’m about to get my first full night’s sleep in over 2 weeks and am pretty excited about it. Midterms and such have kept me from updating this blog sooner, so I apologize to my tens of loyal fans. But VASST has been busy as always! Since my last post, we got almost 400 signups (further boosting our claim that we’re the best group on grounds), Sam Rosser has done 2,000 dunkaroos, and we’ve made a bunch of new friends.
Ah, the beginning of another school year. The constant downpours, the sundresses, the large packs of first years walking down Rugby hoping their ratio is good enough to get into a frat… how do snowsports fit into this picture? Well, they don’t… but we already started to prepare for the season by donning speedsuits and race bibs and recruiting new members! That’s right, this week was the activities fair. As the sun beat down on us, members of VASST relentlessly shouted ‘SKI AND SNOWBOAARDDDD?’ to passersby and advertised the club to anyone who would listen.
With the ridiculously high number of signups we naturally got as the biggest, baddest, and raddest club at UVA, we are now preparing for info sessions! If you listen carefully, you can already hear Tim Barry chanting #TheyWillAllBeMyFriends. To find out more about our club, come to Maury 209 at 6pm on Wednesday September 4 or Thursday September 5. Even if you’re a returning member, it’s a good way to get information about our plans for this year, including Drylands, hikes, parties, Sunday River, and the spring break trip. Also, yours truly made the slideshow, so you definitely don’t want to miss that.
We can’t wait for the upcoming year and getting right back into all the fun stuff being planned by social chairs Alex Botlo & Hallie Pence! Hope you see you all soon.
The hottest team this side of the Rockies
If you’re reading this, it probably means you survived finals with reasonable success and are now enjoying your summer vacation by sitting on Facebook (seriously Charlottesville, I stayed here to avoid rainy England and it’s been nonstop thunderstorms all week). For those of you who missed all the fun or just forgot (easy to do in Myrtle), here’s a recap of what’s happened since classes ended.
The great migration of college students to the quiet seaside town of Myrtle Beach for a few days of wholesome fun and merriment at a fine establishment named the Spanish Galleon went off without a hitch this year. We had great weather every day and most people (sorry Hallie) managed not to get burned! Special props to Zach Drumheller for his method of applying 30 & 100 SPF every half an hour or so to keep that wonderful translucent hue. We splooged at Speeg, played Mario Kart and bocceball, and Casey made friends with wildlife. It was an awesome way to end the year and say goodbye to the 4th years.
Speaking of 4th years… Some of our favorite VASSTers completed their college journey last week. Four years ago they were just bright-eyed highschoolers, pestering their class facebook page with questions like ‘does anyone here ski?’ and ‘what’s my UVA email address?’. They moved into their dorms and were successfully ambushed by VASST at the activities fair, attending the info sessions and parties before finally being convinced to join. For the next three years they studied, partied, made lots of friends, but most importantly they shredded. A lot. For that we thank them; they made this university a steezier place. Somehow between the skiing and snowboarding they also managed to actually get a degree and walked the Lawn. Congratulations guys! Luckily lots of them are sticking around for grad school (Catriona’s eligible for another year omg) but to those who are leaving for good, I hope we’ll be seeing you around next year – lest ye disappear from our memories forever.
Just kiddinggggg how could we ever forget about you? But do come back.
These guys are out in the real world with jobs now. Think about that. (My facebook stalking knows no bounds)
Also, I’d like to propose that we move beach week out west next year. My friend from Utah posted a picture of her bikini skiing at Snowbird today and there is more snow there now than there was at Sugar in January. Sooo….
Well well well…. I have successfully eliminated that pesky Botlo and am excited for my reign of terror over this blog to begin. For anyone who doesn’t know me (which is pretty much impossible considering I Facebook friend every person I’ve ever had a two-minute conversation with) I’m Michelle, or Janssen, or Yanssen, or ‘That Foreign One’. Considering about 90% of the photos on the blog this year were taken by me, I thought I might as well write the words too. LET’S GET STARTED SHALL WE?
So this weekend the annual UVA tradition of getting dressed up and standing in a field for no particular reason known as Foxfield came around once again. Fortunately this year the weather was perfect and the whole of VASST didn’t have to be stuffed under a tent like last year. Fun times were had, some people acted in less than classy ways, and it was generally just a wonderful day. Shoutout to all the drivers for putting up with the many ‘excited’ people in each car and getting us to and from the races safely!
On the last day of classes VASST had a BBQ at 320 and it was LOLs (lots of laughs, duh). There was great food, fun games, skateboarding, and the Dan Pan Band did an awesome Power Hour (with a brief hiatus where we had to move their entire setup inside due to rain). I hear the famous Dan Pan even gave birthday girl Katy Jones a shoutout! It was a great way to end the year and meet up one last time before finals.
So before I leave you with all the wonderful photos from these events, I want to wish everyone the best of luck with exams! You can do it, calming manatee believes in you! Just think about all the fun we’re going to have at beach week.
By the way, if anyone was feeling sad about people graduating, don’t. Because I’m not letting anyone leave. You think I’m kidding…
Spring is here, and change is in the air. The snow has melted, pollen has resumed the 19-year war on my nasal passages, and UVA is once again drowning in sundresses and Sperrys (I can barely recognize the place without all the Barbour jackets). Nothing escapes spring’s change, not even VASST. After a bloody, Hunger Games-inspired election, candidates fought to the death and nine ladies and gents triumphed. They now make up the new exec.
Yes, these nine lucky people have the absolute pleasure of running our wonderful club, and they are just so doggone excited to make sure you have the best year ever. So remember: there is no such thing as a stupid question for them! No really, you can ask them anything. At all hours of the day and night. If you want to call them at 4 am to ask important things like, “What time is the info session party again?,” even though it says it right on the email you just deleted without reading, they will be over the moon to answer. So, I’d like to say a big hello (or herro for Nick Kwan) to our new exec! I am so excited for you all, you’re going to be amazing, and I absolutely cannot wait to see how much you hate us all by the end.
Now, I’d like to say something a little more personal. <–Listen to Friends Forever by Vitamin C as you read. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrZwytGI9-E
Like Anne Frank, I came into this whole writing thing by a goofy twist of fate. And like Anne, my writing on this blog has become the voice of our generation. I think my loyal fanbase of about 4 people (hi mom!) would agree. But, like all great things, my time on this blog must someday end.
And by someday, I mean today.
Shh, hey, don’t cry! Maybe one day in the future, after a sad and lonely life pursuing dreams that are never fulfilled, when I’m sixty eight years old with five cats, drooping breasts, and a home that smells like soup, I’ll realize that my happiest times were right here, on this blog. Of course, by that time, my raging opium addiction that I picked up from a Thai prostitute, Suk Mi Kok, which also happened to be my only stable relationship after the age of 23, will make it virtually impossible for me to operate a computer, but–wait, what was I talking about?
Anyway, thanks for reading the blog. Or, you know, skimming it. Or even just clicking the link I spam on facebook and then deciding you don’t actually want to read it after all. I think that scene, in episode 65 of Lizzie McGuire, really sums up how I feel about this moment. You see, Gordo has to write on Lizzie’s yearbook, and even though he loves her, he just can’t seem to find the right words to say goodbye. Just like a lovestruck tween in the early 2000′s, I, too, am struggling to find the right words to convey what you all meant to me this last year. So, I’ll follow Gordo’s lead, and just end with this.
You rock. Don’t ever change. Have a great summer!
Hello. My name Vlad. I come from Siberia Russia. Is cold in my home. Here is like summer breeze yes?
I stay at home of pen pal Alex. She very nice. Write very good letters so I come see her. She surprised by my visit but I know she like it. I bring moose skin as wedding present! She like moose very much. She much more beautiful than I thought! Very bushy eyebrows. This mean she will bear strong sons I know!
Alex at police station right now for something called restraining order, but I see blog up on komputer and I vant to say, Privet! Zat is hello in my native tongue.
I hear about ski team from Alex. Back in Russia, skis ride us! Ha! Ha! But really, they are out of control.
You ski team, you very crazy! Ze boys have very much hair on their faces, like big Siberian bears, but ze girls are so hairless! Not like woman back in Russia. They could survive blizzard naked. Ha! Ha!
Alex tell me many of you are leaving to a place called Big Sky tomorrow. Is for competition yes? She say everyone very excited, because all 4 teams are going. I vant to say congratulations to the men and woman skiers, is very awesome! And congratulations also to man and woman…how you say…boardskiers? No zat not right… You go down mountain on 1 big ski like old grandpa Boris! He lost leg in revolution, but he still best skier in whole village!
Oh, I see Alex coming back with policeman. I must go now, but have fun in Idaho to ze racers, and you are all invited to our wedding!
Do svidaniya new friends,
Oh, quick yoke before I go:
German boat is patrolling waters when get call from Englishman.
“Mayday mayday! Can you hear us? We are sinking. We are sinking!”
German radio man goes to radio and says, “Hello zis is ze German coast guard. Vat are you sinking about?”
Ha! Ha! Classic. German accent so stupid.
‘Twas the hour before Snowshoe,
And all through the ‘ville,
All the vassters were scurrying,
Up the 14th street hill.
They passed Berryberry,
And ignored all the bars.
They flocked to 320,
To pack up the cars.
All were excited to race
That fresh West Virginia pow,
As well as race as much keg beer,
As their stomachs allow.
As I sat at 320,
Watching everyone in good cheer,
I darkly turned to a bottle,
And drank away my sadness with Eric Lin’s beer.
For I could not go,
To this snowiest of shoes.
I had to work,
Unlike those lucky VASST Wahoos.
Well from what I heard,
The trip was a blast.
“Yeah no shit”, you might say,
As VASST doesn’t do anything half-assed.
Congrats to our racers
For kicking some ass.
You proved that UVA ski still rules,
Even though we train on Wintergreen grass.
But our real expertise,
Can be seen after the race.
When we après-ski
The crap out of the place.
Well, my friends, I’m glad you had fun.
And though I couldn’t be there, have no fear,
For I promise you, Snowshoe.
I’ll see you next year.
Well, friends, I’m here in a little coffeehouse in New York City, sipping some unpronounceable tea or another (Xian Ren Zhang Cha? Try ordering that 5 times fast), and watching the snow cover the city in a beautiful layer of now filthy slush. Seeing as I’m alone (they don’t allow cats into coffee shops), I had to come up with an interesting way to entertain myself. Surrounded by glasses- and scarf-clad ladies and gents, I decided to toe the waters of hipsterdom. First, to blend in, I chose the warmest seat in the room, and put on my completely unnecessary hat. My fingerless gloves, which I left on, sent the clear message, “I live in a cardboard box.” Then, I carefully arranged my hipster nest. My novel, written by the excellent, and exotically-named, Haruki Murakami, would make a perfect table for my tea, which frankly tasted a little less exciting than the name would suggest. I then propped my feet up on the stool, so everyone could observe my boots–warm, comfortable, and just a little bit (a lot) ugly. Finally, right when I was at the point of looking actually homeless, I whipped out my completely overpriced Mac. There. Satisfied with my disguise, I took a quick peak around the room. The natives suspected nothing. Eeeexcellent.
But now that I had this new identity, what to do with it? After several unsuccessful poems attempts:
I eat this muffin,
Even though it tastes like ass
‘Cuz I paid for it.
I came to realize that I probably didn’t have the depth of feeling that was needed for inspirational haikus. I tried a drawing next:
I won’t insult you with a sample of my…art.
Finally, I sat there at a loss. What to do? Then, a thought hit me. Of course! I already do something that fits the hipster requirements: Das Blog! It is read by a very small group of people, it is of absolutely no importance to anything, and its author will never be famous. Voila! And now, folks, here we are.
First off, I hope everyone had a lovely holiday. If you’re like me, then you really needed this detox from the hellish nightmare that was finals. If you’re not like me then, well, I’m sorry for you.
My holidays were spent in a drunken fog. But Alex, you say, you’re not 21 yet! Oh, I’m well aware. It wasn’t my drunken fog, but that of my beloved parental units. While the mothership was off spouting tequila-inspired philosophical rants and deep metaphors for life, my father was crowning himself ‘The party animal of Geneva’ and declaring that “Us Germanic people, we like the girls.” Ah, family.
The night was just full of special moments of bonding between father and daughter. They went something like this:
Dad: Living with all girls. Hah. Is crazy. (My dad’s ability to speak English is heavily related to his Blood Alcohol Content).
Me: Hm, I guess. Cleaner than living with all boys.
Dad: But if you put tampons on the toilet. Eh.
Me (confused): But..why would you do that?
Dad (knowingly): Oh you know…
As he walked solemnly away, I was left feeling bewildered, and a little bit uncertain. Did..did I know?
Like I said. Special moments of bonding.
I hope, my friends, that you all were able to have equally entertaining, gift-filled holidays, whether it was Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or another equally unspellable celebration. And remember folks, if you still didn’t get that pony, there’s always next year.
Oh damn, looks like someone spotted my sorority sticker. I’ve been compromised. Retreat!
Alex “This post had nothing to do with VASST” Botlo
S U N D A Y R I V E R S O O N ! ! ! ! !
Alex “This post now has something to do with VASST” Botlo
In complete contrast to my last post, it turns out that things actually did happen to VASST in the last month. And I know you just want to hear all about them, so leggo:
T A C K Y S W E A T E R P A R T Y
VASST raided Charlottesville thrift shops right before break and bought the tackiest, frumpiest, snazziest sweaters possible. True, we will probably never wear those fugly sweater again, but.. (don’t mention Macklemore, don’t mention Macklemore) but shit it was 99 cents! (…Dammit.)
We rocked those threads like the 80 year old owners before us and, as if that wasn’t cool enough, the night was blessed with a Christmas miracle. No, it didn’t snow–come on guys, work on those snow dances. But the miracle was just as great. Our beloved Rage in Progress sign, the cherished item so hatefully stolen earlier this year from the wall of 320, returned to us on this fateful night. Thanks Santa Tim, and welcome back Rage In Progress.
L I G H T I N G U P T H E L A W N
A most generous Colin Custer gave up his lawn room (Oo-la-la) for the night, letting VASST invade for Lighting of the Lawn. The hot chocolate and cookies warmed our cold, cold hearts…and fingers. Hell, I don’t think anyone was prepared for the Arctic temperatures of that night. I wouldn’t have been surprised if a polar bear walked across the Rotunda in the middle of the (panty-dropping) Hullabahoos performance. Mm. Hullabahoos.
What was I talking about again?
Ah, yes. VASST.
V A S S T T A K E S N E W Y O R K
Or, more specifically, 5 of us sort of wandered aimlessly around the Big Apple, slowly freezing to death. Other than being uber jealous that you weren’t there, there’s really no reason that I should talk about this. But hey, it’s my blog and I shamelessly abuse my power. (What to see your name on the blog? I also take bribes). Man, I would be an excellent CEO.
As great as all of these VASSTy things are, we all know the real reason that I’m so excited.
SLEEPOVER AT MOLLOY’S! NAKED PILLOW FIIIIIIGHT!!!!
And that’s not all..
As wonderful as sleeping with Helena (rawr) is, the real reason I’m so excited that I just squealed like a little girl is because…
SUNDAY RIVER IS T O M O R R O W ! ! ! !
My level of stokedness for this week long steezathon is off the charts, but I can’t talk about it anymore tonight. It’s going to be a long journey tomorrow, and I have to get my beauty rest on so I can watch Helena drive the whole way. Plus, if I think about it anymore I’m going to pee my pants in excitement…again.
Alex “So Ready to Break My Ass on the Slopes” Botlo